road to happiness: day 1

In The Name Of ALLAH The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

road to happiness: day 1

smile!

i dunno

In The Name Of ALLAH The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

hermm... oldo Im at home. I still felt unhappy.Im still confused. maseh tercari2 identiti i guess. i do wut i tot I must do. I do sth after thinking deeply wut consequences dat may occur afterwards. Bt I rarely ask any1 abt their opinion. This wasnt being me. Im wut I 1 to b n act, as I wanted. I nv think b4 I act. I was like a person full of spirit last time. Bt now, I dont think Im like I was. I felt so stupid n lost.im very lazy to study. to read n digest evryth dat has to be done. bt, i still go for lectures. it just, i dont like to do those tutorials, assignment etc. Sumhow, I need 2 talk 2 sumbody abt dis and decide wut I wanted to pursue. Bt, I dont even know what's wrong? I always cried and it can’t stop. I felt so small n hurt deep inside. hu3. nevertheless, i must forfeit to b a happy person.i must! its a vow 4 dis new year i guess. ha3. ok. c. how i can b one person at 1 time n another 1 in a very short time. namenye tu pendirian tak teguh.

abt dat couple thing... i don think it is essential to hv 1. tak cukop umur lagi a. n for islam dont approve such thing as couple b4 marriage. how can i forgot abt it. obsession nih. nakal ni. dush dush. amik kao.n ive no money. no i mean, i cant even afford myself. having a special bf has to sacrifise alot of moneyrite? my age? well, in my observation, there's a lot of ppl hv married at my age.at least, engange. heh. alah. jodoh d tgn tuhan. y must pk mende luar kawalan ni.
tah. asyek mende ni je. ble tah nk penat.

hermm... ngantuk pn ade. tp cam mls. esok sure tdo till matahari atas kepala. gle a camni. ble nk kurus tah. i mean kurangkan ketembaman tuh... cam mimi kan.. rsenye sumer rakan2 ske kat de. alah. bohong je don judge a book by its cover. ppl still looking 4 appearence. d first impression on being a girl in this unfair world.

ni satu lagi my prob. always thinking to impress ppl. heh. takpe kalo sikit2.
ok. ill stop here.

im angry i guess

In The Name Of ALLAH The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

dd had gone. without telling. i knew abt it couples hour b4 her departure. im sad n angry. huda left with her. both of them thought that either of them call n told me. but neither did. full of sadness n i felt like being left out. i dunno wut 2 say. all that i can do is crying n console myself. i keep telling myself that sumhow its good for me. i would probably cry n nv let her go... just hv to stay n pray for her. she'll remember me.
i dunno if i can let him go. but i must to. with god willing,if he's mine. he'll b back. crying wont settle anything. i hv made up my mind now. i must do some changes. whether it is now or sooner.
hv to c mr pres n talk to him. i hv made several mistake n i hv to risk myself to apologize.
i felt pathetic n useless. my self-esteem is very low. i had to impress myself.

update

In The Name Of ALLAH The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

sori lame tak update. byk gle keje. tdo pn tak terurus. tahla nanti2la bule cte byk2. sedih sgt. byk frustration throughout this semester. new year plak cam hampeh je. mmg byk sgt nk cte but lack of time n money. skang bule access free so, maybe update slalu kot. tahla duit kerajaan kan takkan sng2 je nk gune. tak berkatokla. dah azan bye nk solat